I know everyone has there own story but it doesn't matter how many times I read a similar story from someone else, once in awhile you just need someone to sit next to ya, remind you of what you know, give ya hug.
It's gettin rough this year not having Mom around. They say the second year is usually the hardest and I think they're right. I've been cleaning up house and going through cards, pictures and all that kind of stuff, and there's been a couple pretty rough nights.
There are no shortcuts in the healing process, you pretty much have to go through it. It takes time, and it hurts, but they say eventually it gets better.
Nothing is the same since Mom has been gone. Even family don't know some things between my Dad and me, the way we feel, the way some things went at home. Even family don't see past the surface sometimes. I know some real strong guys that have still run away from things because it hurt too much. You pretty much shut it down, bury it until one day maybe you're able to deal with it better. No one is perfect, no one has it together all the time.
I don't need lessons on how God is my comforter, I know that. But I can't feel His arm around me, I don't hear His voice in my ear. That's why it's so important for us to be His arms, hands and feet, because people like me...like you, need to feel those things once in awhile, need a voice of understanding, comfort, a strong hand, a non-judgmental look of love.
I'm so tired of those kind of Christians, the kind that always have the Word for you. I was that kind of Christian. Sometimes you just need to shutup and be there for someone.
You don't realize how much you need someone until they're gone. I never knew how much I wanted to make my mom happy until she wasn't there to be proud of me. That's still taking a lot of getting used to. I think I've said it before, but a guy feels one way when he makes his Dad proud and another way entirely when he makes his mom proud. At least I do.
